Before we got married we had a discussion on divorce.
He said he didn't believe in divorce- period.
I said I don't believe in divorce for me, but I am not going to make a blanket statement when I couldn't possibly know the details of everyones personal lives.
Different perspectives, but we came to the same conclusion, divorce is not an option.
That's the way you divorce-proof your marriage; you don't talk about divorce, you don't wonder about it, you don't mention it because it's not an option.
Your options are to find a way to make it work, or live a very miserable life.
Which one sounds more appealing?
Of course this only works if both people have this perspective, it can't be one-sided.
Once you stop looking at your partner as an option, you erase this notion of "I only want to be with you when it's convenient for me, and once you step outside of what I like, I'm done."
Instead you should see your partner as the person you've chosen through thick and thin, ups and downs, highs and lows. They aren't an option, you've already committed. Sometimes things will be inconvenient, but you have a choice whether to work through that, or give up.
Matthew 18:8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning."
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Communication Issues in Marriage
My husband and I have problems just like everyone else, but I love being married to him.
Right now our main issue is communication. I don't know what the deal is, but we are on two different planets when it comes to communication.
I am open, I like to get to the point, I want to talk everything out and then ask you twice to repeat what I said just to make sure you understood.
He isn't so open. In fact he doesn't like to talk about much and trying to get him to is like pulling teeth. He wants to handle everything by himself and the only time he'll talk is when he's so frustrated that everything is driving him crazy.
This of course leads to many arguments.
But you know what, we are working on it. After a big blowout the other day we both decided that something has to change.
Now communication is our top priority. I will give him room to be silent, but at the same time he has to be willing to talk sometimes.
Proverbs 15:23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!
Right now our main issue is communication. I don't know what the deal is, but we are on two different planets when it comes to communication.
I am open, I like to get to the point, I want to talk everything out and then ask you twice to repeat what I said just to make sure you understood.
He isn't so open. In fact he doesn't like to talk about much and trying to get him to is like pulling teeth. He wants to handle everything by himself and the only time he'll talk is when he's so frustrated that everything is driving him crazy.
This of course leads to many arguments.
But you know what, we are working on it. After a big blowout the other day we both decided that something has to change.
Now communication is our top priority. I will give him room to be silent, but at the same time he has to be willing to talk sometimes.
Proverbs 15:23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!
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